I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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