i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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