you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
