Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
