I am in a vortex of obligation.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
