I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
