I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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