I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
