What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
