alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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