wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
