So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
