she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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