Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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