i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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