the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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