I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
