I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
