I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
