just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
