Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
