her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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