Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
