Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
