somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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