found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
