I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
