Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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