This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
