I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize