He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I deserve this hangover.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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