I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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