go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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