My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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