Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
