You're my little dorito
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
