He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
