I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
