Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
