there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
