Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
