went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
