Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I could fuck to npr.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
