Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
