i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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