Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
