My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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