What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
