Duck Duck Cougar?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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