Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
