i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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