I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
