The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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