Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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