and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
