____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
