Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
