He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
