im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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