It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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