Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i drank out of a bidet.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
