Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
