I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize