dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
