I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Can Purell be used as lube?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
