normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
