Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Are my feet made of real feet?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
