Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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