What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
